Ray Dahlin

READ ARTICLE: Belly Dance Community Mourns Passing of Ray Dahlin

	Submitted by Sam Sansom, 12/30/06   Me? I asked incredulously and then stammered, But sir. . .  I think . . .you have made. . . a mistake.  Thus my introduction to and my first conversation with Dr. Ray Dahlin at Palomar Community College, 1974  Fall Semester during the Introduction to Public Speaking class.  The mistake I thought Ray had made was following my introductory speech he told me I should try out for the Speech Team.  Being a career Navy man and recognizing Dr. Dahlin as having authority over me, my but sir came out as a Yes Sir!  The rest they say, is history, and I can honestly say the rest of the story encompasses some of the most rewarding, exciting, and just plain fun times of my life. When I received the Christmas 2006 card from Dondi advising that Ray had passed away on July 16, 2004, I was devastated.  But my thoughts immediately turned to what Ray would want me to do. I remember an incredibly disastrous tournament very early in my competitive career.  The following Monday I was in his office bright and early to try and tell him why my performance was so poor.  He let me carry on for a good while just letting me dig a deeper and deeper hole.  When I realized how pathetic I was sounding, I stopped.  Ray then came out from behind his desk, walked up to me and said, Remember, you were just a worm before I found you and continued out the door.  I laughed until tears came to my eyes and I made myself two promises.  First I would never embarrass him again with a poor performance and secondly I would never let him use that line again on me. The Apostle Paul in Chapter 12 of his Second Letter to the church at Corinth advises us we all have God-given gifts.  Many people spend years, if not an entire lifetime searching for these gifts.  Often times we think we have found them but they’re not the ones God had intended for us.  I feel the Good Lord put Dr. Ray Dahlin in my life when He did in order that I might find my gift.  Ray was clearly the gift-finder and he discovered in the deepest and darkest recesses of my being the latent gift of oratory.  His mastery and genius of finding, sharpening, and honing my gift dramatically diverted my life’s course.  While not all inclusive I thank Ray for: -    discovering  a level of self-confidence that even shocked me at times, and still does -    being instrumental in my ability to retire as a full Navy Commander after 30 years of service -    instilling in me the determination to always improve my skill -    enabling me to develop my current career in Divinity Studies, teaching and preaching Gods Word Ray you are and will always be missed.  But I’m here to tell you each time I stand up before a group, an audience or congregation I know I am and always will be your worm.

	Submitted by Lachie The Man, 8/17/05   To the Ray Dahlin family; My sincerest condolences to the entire family for your loss. Ray is now dancing with King David and the Lord showing this fancy footwork. May your days a head be filled with friends, both old and new. May your larder always be over flowing with food. May your tables always be sat around with close friends and family. May your bodies be strong and healthy and may you dance hearts fill with the joy your father bestowed you. You are always in my Prayers   Mhor - Great Health Ceud mile - 100,000 welcomes Sir Hector Lachlan Lubanach Andrew MacLean RoV, OCC PM I will always pipe for your da so he will never run out of music.

	Submitted by Jim Hawn,  7/25/05   Dear Dondi and Titanya,   I was surfing through the web today, googling old friends to see what I could find.  I was stunned to find your web site, and to read of your Dad's passing.  ray was a very important part of my life back in the early 1980s.  I was on his Speech Team during the 81-82 school year.  But more importantly, I was privileged to be selected and hired by him as Stage Manager for his Nutcracker productions in 1981, 83, 84 and 85.  My first introduction to Ray was in 1973, when I took one of Buddy Ashbrook's acting classes, and assistant stage managed "Miracle Worker."  The following year, Dr. Norm Gaskins hired me to be his student assistant, running the scene shop in the old Drama Lab.  I left Palomar and went over seas (I was a Marine) and when I came back to SoCal in 1979, I was reacquainted with Ray while working for Ashbrook again, this time on Can-Can.  Ray taught me a lot.  I did okay during Speech  Championships in 1982, and Ray asked me to help him with Nutcracker.  Through him I met Rob Mahon and Eugenia Keefer.  Ray allowed me the opportunity to grow during those years.  I was long used to leading Marines, but he allowed me the opportunity to lead others as well.  His critiques of my speechifying did me well later in life after I retired from the service and became a history professor.  Along the way, I taught others how to speak in public, how to teach, and most of what I taught them came from Ray.  He was gracious, even when driving me into the wall on the racquetball court, or leaving me panting in exhaustion on the basketball court.  Where he got all that energy I'll never know.   I remember his pride in you both as you were growing up.  He introduced us one year during a Phi Rho Pi investiture in the mid 80s, and his face beamed whenever you two were near.   He was a class act...and he wasn't acting.  I thought the world of him.  I wish you both well, and know you'll both live out his legacy of kindness and supportiveness.  He is missed.

	Submitted by Noel Smith,  4/4/05   I am indeed saddened by the news of Ray's passing. Ray was a brother - a fraternity brother. We were both members of the gamma lambda chapter of Tau Kappa Epsilon fraternity at San Diego State College (SDSC) as it was known at that time. Ray was one of those people who was bigger than life. Legends of him at college survived for years in the fraternity. One of the more benign tales regarded the time Ray ran out of socks. As he was always known for being a sharp dresser, Ray couldn't be seen without any socks. He found a simple and Dahlen-unique answer, he painted his ankles. From his feet to halfway to his knees he used brown paint to cover his bare ankles. He carried on his successful ruse until someone noticed how hairy his socks were. His off-campus office, along with George Sunga, Bill Evans (A friend from Gary, IN) and others in the fraternity, was the Quaff Barrel affectionately known as the "QB." Ray was instrumental in bringing the Pinkins brothers from the Chicago area. Tony Pinkins was a basketball star and his brother was a very fine football player. I hope that there are others from his fraternity days that can add to the legend of Ray Dahlin.

	Submitted by Peggy Cooper,  12/28/04   To a very good man and friend:  Throughout my 20 year political career, I have organized some incredibly big events for former Deputy Mayor George Stevens.  On the nights of the event when I watched everything unfold, I would just ackwardly glimpse in a particular area while pulling everything together and always became bright eyed when I would see this unexpected distinguished humble man glaring my way.   He would come to all of the events.  It was the look of reassuring me that whatever I did in life it was going to be OK and that yes, you can do this no matter how many people it involved----That was Ray Dahlin. That warm smile always let me know that I could be my best and still have class while serving the public. It was just great having a mentor in the background--That was Ray.   He always told me to smile and be kind to people at all times and I did just that.  Thank  you Ray.  I do miss  you and will always hold onto our memories as friends and serving on the George Stevens Youth Foundation Board helping youth at risk.   Thank you God for this special friend.  Thank you......

	Submitted by Ralph Aloysius Derderian,  10/17/04   Ray was a remarkably good actor. Need I mention that his spontaneous and irreverent sense of humour was another one of his endearing and unforgettable characteristics?

	Submitted by Sharon Taylor,  8/28/04   When you're 18 and in the final round of Oral Interpretation for girls at Phi Rho Pi Nationals (boys had their own category), you may be too nervous to listen or remember the names of the judges.  I was.  My mind was focused on the performance.   Little did I know then that one of the judges was Dr. Ray Dahlin.   After completing my graduate degree at San Diego State, Southwestern College hired me to start an Oral Interpretation program.  About six years later, I took over as the Director of Forensics.  At almost every tournament, Rays squad of talented students collected trophies in every category along with the overall sweepstakes award.   Ray, however, always remained at the back of the audience, out of sight, letting his students share the light.   He was a man whose demeanor was just as genuine with students as it was with his colleagues.  He was fair and honest and possessed a childlike smile and a great laugh that endeared him to all. A decade after that final round in Florida, the details of my final program had slipped my somatic memory.  One Saturday morning, as I was picking up a judging ballot at a tournament in Los Angeles, a soft, low voice from behind me said, Ya havent an arm and ya havent a leg; youre a worthless, spineless, chicken less egg.   Youll have to be put in a bowl to beg ---Ah Johnny I hardly knew ya..  I turned around to see who could be quoting these lines delivered so many years ago.  It was Ray.  He said simply, I bet you didnt think I remembered that program.   I would love to tell you that I replied with a clever quip, but that would be lying.  I just stared at him while tears filled my eyes.  In that one gesture, Ray Dahlin taught me more about judging and what listening to students really meant than any rule manual ever published.   During the next 28 years, I believe his influence touched Michael, Dick, Jim, Bill, Craig, Roxanne, Rocky, Patti, Donna, Bruce, Susan, Pat, Norm, Kat, me, and the many other teachers and students who became Forensic coaches.   Even after his initial stroke, he continued to teach us.  He fought back to find his voice, to visit with friends, to attend Palomar football games, and to spend precious time with the daughters he loved beyond language.   He demonstrated to us his full understanding of the Dylan Thomas line, Rage against the dying of the light.  Ray was one of a kind and how blessed we are that he touched our lives.  I know we still had much to learn from him. But when we are finally called, it must just be time to go home.

	Submitted by Eileen Jutkus (now Bacan),  8/28/04   I was a classmate of Ray's at Wahington High School, and graduated with him in 1949.   I really got to know Ray in my Junior Year at the school, and he took me along with him to many activities and made my school life a lot of fun and interesting. I always thought that Ray would one day be President of our country. He could talk anybody into anything, and had such a power to go ahead in whatever he did. I was surprised that he never went into politics. I always felt that he could do anything that he set his mind to accomlish.   I like Ray. He was always good to me.  He was always a comedian, too. In my Yearbook of the Class of 1949, he wrote: Eileen, if you ever need anything, just call me and I will run.   I will always remember Ray with making my time in school a wonderful time.

	Submitted by Jan Caswell Pastras,  8/28/04   I first met Ray when I took a speech class in 1970, and Ray convinced me to compete at Nationals, which was my first tournament!  He had faith in me, and we formed a fast friendship that lasted all of these years!  I watched his lovely daughters Tanya and Dondi grow up to be exquisite young women and shared his pride in their accomplishments.   Even though we didn't see each other that frequently (as often happens), we kept in touch by phone and letters, and he got a kick out of the incredibly crude Get Well cards I sent during his illnesses. So, Ray, my dear dear friend... here are some of the many memories that I thank you for:   The National Speech Championships in Ann Arbor and St. Louis   Forming a 34 year friendship with Hazel, who I roomed with at Nationals   Introducing me to Benny Hill   Driving across country that summer to work in the Resort at Indiana Dunes   Introducing me to George Manous, Donna, Zip, Carl, Doris and your dad.   Watching your two lovely daughters grow up Coming to BOTH of my weddings   Jai Lai in Tijuana, and getting stranded on the freeway on the way home Dancing at the Quail's Inn   Sneaking in the hospital after hours to see you when you had your heart attack My wonderful visit with you after your stroke   Your insistence on driving the car after your stroke and almost driving us off a cliff Giving a eulogy at my mother's funeral   All of the practical jokes

	Submitted by Melinda Finn,  8/27/04   Ray was a dear person and I will always think fondly of him.  The attached photo of Ray and Dondi was one of the first photos I took in my new job as photographer at Palomar. It was at a fundraising concert featuring the Coasters in August, 1992.  I was asked to take this photo before I had my camera equipment ready to go and I was nervous.  I remember Ray and Dondi being so gracious and patient as I was fumbling around with my camera equipment.   The graciousness Ray displayed that evening never faltered during the years I knew him. I took several photos of the award-winning speech team for the next several years, and helped distribute the good news in press releases when award after award was won.  Ray was always so appreciative, so organized and considerate of my time, and so proud of his students!   To Ray's family, I very sorry for your loss. You must be very proud of how much he gave to so many people, and how much joy he brought into the lives of those who knew him.   With love, Melinda

	Submitted by Frank Kollintzas,  8/26/04   All of us from Indiana Harbor were very sad to hear of the passing of our very dear friend. I was blessed to spend some quality time with Ray last August 12th, 2003. We talked about the good times he had with two of his dearest friends George Manous and Alex Stamatakis. Words can't describe the loss not only his family is facing but what it really means to all of us. We miss Ray very much.                              Frank Kollintzas                           George Manous

	Submitted by Dick Strong,  8/25/04   To Ray:  I will forever miss you my dear friend.  As a colleague,a mentor and friend, you were always there whenever needed.  Your life served as inspiration to thousands.  Your life mattered in all the right ways. To the Friends and Family of Ray:  Know that all of our lives were enriched by this wonderful man.  What he taught lives forever in our souls.  His life inspires us all to be constantly and consistently better.

	Submitted by Cody DeCamp,  8/25/04   When I entered Palomar in the fall of 1982 I was shy and introverted. Being on the Speech Team was about as likely as flying to the moon. One of my first classes was Ray's speech class. He encouraged me to join the speech team. Ray's lessons helped me become much more confident. I have utilized the skills that I learned from my speech experience everyday of my life. I truly believe the lessons I learned have helped me become what I am today. Ray also played a mean game of racketball. Despite having the obvious age advantage, he schooled me regularly. To the family, my deepest condolences. Ray will be missed greatly.

	Submitted by Kimberly (Bayan) Berlat,  8/24/04   Ray Dahlin is a one of a kind magic. No one I have ever met has had his flair, style, and knowledge.  My time at Palomar was short, but he made an impact. Not a day goes by where Ray's influence doesn't come out in my coaching or life in general.  How many times have I said "If you just listen to what I'm telling you, you're going to start winning whether you like it or not!" to a student? How many times have you Forenzoids wanted to award some "Boob McNutt Points" to someone?   No matter how little he touched your life, Ray left his mark - and usually it was a crater the size of Arizona. I just found out about his passing today.  My heart truly aches.  It aches for Ray's family and friends because of this tremendous loss. But most of all it aches because the world has lost one of the greatest treasures it has ever known. Thank you for letting us into your life Prof. Dahlin.  I know I'm a better person for it in the end.

	Submitted by Cheryl (Pilcher) Ledwidge,  8/18/04   There is not a word that could easily describe the impact that Ray Dahlin has had on my life.  He changed my life forever and I forever thankful that he took a chance on me. He got me into speech because he knew my father.  He kept me in speech because he changed my life.   Because of Ray I have a love for poetry, prose, and so many other things.  I think my experience at Palomar Speech was the best of my entire life.  I love riding to tournaments with him.  I may not have won many awards but I was a huge winner because before Ray and Speech I was so painfully shy my biggest goal in life was to blend.   Now, I am happily married, an executive assistant, and working on a human rights campaign.  Oh yea, and I am not shy anymore. Life takes us on many roads. I am glad that I got a chance to cross mine with his.  My favorite Ray Dahlin memory, any one who competed under him will know, it has to be "Don't read the ballots" The man would have gone horse from yelling at us about it. I am devastated and saddened by this loss. I feel like I have lost my father all over again. Ray Dahlin was 1 in a million and will be remembered forever.

	Submitted by Ralph Derderian,  8/16/04   Not only did Ray treat me like his good friend but, also, as a member of his family. Of course, we all miss him but he's forever unforgettable.

	Submitted by Dave Dhillon and Cyrena,  8/12/04   Ray's charm and his integrity in supporting the arts were an inspiration to those of us who performed whenever he was present. We will always hold his memory dear in our hearts and in great esteem.

	Submitted by Michael Leigh,  8/12/04   I feel so lucky to have known Ray.  He was a friend, as well as a key mentor and a foil for my professional growth.  Always a sense of humor.  Always a kind word.  I never met the man when he wasn't smiling, though I saw the pain beneath the smile near the end.   And the courage.  Can you imagine what it must have been like for a man who was a master craftsman of the language to find himself searching for words?   Still, he found them. I'm so glad that my wife Diane and I,  saw Ray twice in the last year, as well as his lovely  and talented daughters who took such good care of him.  The last time was at this year's Phi Ro Pi National Championship.   We sat at a table together with other favorite coaches of ours from over the years, and listened to the honor associated with his name.   He was happy, I believe, and the award given in his name will always be valued.   Then, the next day, we didn't see him.  In my heart, I knew somehow that it was last time we'd have the privilege of his wonderful companionship, warmth and quick, quick mind.   We loved you, Ray, and we'll continue to do so.  -Michael & Diane

	Submitted by Bill Tosheff,  8/6/04   Ah "Da Region"...the mecca of activity all centered within the walls of the most notorius hang out for celebrities such as John Dillinger, etc. So then I get a phone call, "Tosh, this is Ray, meet me at the  Greek Taverna, downtown San Diego at 6:30pm, Dondi is dancing there." So I go, and just as I suspected Ray, is there, with a female, ahem...and an older "cat" with a camera, and I get dragged onto the floor with Dondi, who's doing her "schtick", with me tryng to follow her lead to the music. Red headband, shash, and looking totally stupid, I play his and Dondi's game. Result, after the session, a guy comes up to me and stuffs a dollar in my belt. Of course Ray's Stephen Spielberg, type, is shooting pictures of this ex-NBA STAR(in my own mind), which I'm sure is going to be printed in all the local "Da Region", rags speaheaded by that other crime and athletic supporter, Arch McKinlay, of Chicago. Observation: Ray Dahlin, has always been QUIETLY LETHAL"..Ray, as they say in Maceadonian,"Ket-te-=vee-dem utre e utre e utre", meaning, " I will see you tomorrow & tomorrow and tomorrow"....Tosh

	Submitted by Craig and Sheila Grossman,  8/6/04   Ray was the best.  A friend for over thirty years.  He was my mentor and taught me so much about coaching, directing tournaments and about being a father.  I would never imagine running a speech tournament without Ray at my side.   So many fun times traveling throughout the nation and Tijuana!!! Ray was always gracious, a gentleman and could make you laugh for hours. Ray gave Sheila her first job in teaching.  We will miss him alot.

	Submitted by Tommy Joe,  8/4/04   In 1986 I was a commercial real estate broker specializing in apartment house sales. Thats when I met Ray  after a number of telephone calls.  I'd call the Dahlin house in Poway and usually get Ray's father. He'd say that his college professor son who was always traveling, working long hours and pretty much impossible to get on the telephone was the one handling the apartments. In retrospect maybe that was really Ray just disguising his voice! Ray and I finally met. We did some business together that worked out well. And of course, we became friends.  I knew Ray Dahlin for 18 years.  And for probably the last 17 of those years he made me feel like I was one of his closest friends.   That puts me in the category with about 60 or 70 other people I gather. What a special man Ray was! As an educator, a coach, a mentor, a friend, he added to so many peoples lives in so many ways. I heard about the long weekends with the speech team. I knew about the dedication to his students.  I observed first hand on a number of occasions the generosity that flowed out of him so easily and humbly. Have you ever bought a meal that you shared with Ray Dahlin? I think I did once...  and it was a cheesy breakfast at a greasy spoon restaurant. And probably the only reason Ray let me buy was so he could rib me about it for the next 10 years. Which of course he did! As many wonderful things as Ray did as a human being with a heartbeat, he is an even greater spirit.  His spirit is what I feel. It's what I had felt before without really being  aware of it. The goodness that was Ray Dahlin was much more than what man could manifest in the flesh. His spirit is what made him special. It's what keeps him special. And it what keeps him in my life.   I know I'll be feeling Ray for a long time. Its a good feeling. Tommy Joe (Dog-Face Boy)

	Submitted by Haval Ravin,  8/3/04   A loss indeed. I had the pleasure and joy of knowing Ray for a couple of years. I would see him every now and then. He was consistently energetic, happy, and loving. I was touched by how close he was, and still is, to his family. The respect and happiness that I felt toward him was always met with the like toward me. He was so proud Of Dondi and Tanya, so close to them, and they brought him much happiness. This was the best gift they could possibly give him, therefore he left them with that gift which he will forever keep. He is a lucky man. God Bless your soul and give strength and comfort to your two Daughters.

	Submitted by Patty Dixon,  8/3/04   I was a "baby" when I came to Palomar and two great men helped me find my place-Frank Martini and Ray Dahlin.  Ray and I had offices next to each other and I popped in and out of his office for advise, borrow paper, use his zerox machine, cry when my first student dropped out of my class etc.   He always made time for me.  I knew I had 'arrived" when he recommended that one of his daughters take my American History class.  The world may miss his physical presence but his essence will not be missed because far too many people have been greatly impacted by him.   He was and is a blessing.

	Submitted by Molly Nichelson,  8/2/04   I was truly saddened to hear of Professor Dahlin’s recent passing over this weekend.  I was a student of his as well as a member of the Palomar Speech team from 1996-1998.  I truly enjoyed getting to know him during this brief period of time and will always treasure the Barry Goldwater pin that he gave me.  The public speaking skills that your father taught me have truly helped me in my professional and personal life and I am forever indebted to him.  My heart and prayers go out to you and your family.  May God’s peace be upon your hearts, your minds and your spirits during this time.