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READ ARTICLE: Belly Dance Community Mourns Passing of Ray Dahlin
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Submitted by Sam Sansom, 12/30/06
Me? I asked incredulously and then stammered, But sir. . . I think . . .you have made. . .
a mistake.
Thus my introduction to and my first conversation with Dr. Ray Dahlin at Palomar Community College,
1974 Fall Semester during the Introduction to Public Speaking class. The mistake I thought Ray had made was following
my introductory speech he told me I should try out for the Speech Team. Being a career Navy man and recognizing Dr.
Dahlin as having authority over me, my but sir came out as a Yes Sir! The rest they say, is history, and I can honestly
say the rest of the story encompasses some of the most rewarding, exciting, and just plain fun times of my life.
When
I received the Christmas 2006 card from Dondi advising that Ray had passed away on July 16, 2004, I was devastated. But my
thoughts immediately turned to what Ray would want me to do.
I remember an incredibly disastrous tournament very early
in my competitive career. The following Monday I was in his office bright and early to try and tell him why my
performance was so poor. He let me carry on for a good while just letting me dig a deeper and deeper hole. When
I realized how pathetic I was sounding, I stopped. Ray then came out from behind his desk, walked up to me and said,
Remember, you were just a worm before I found you and continued out the door. I laughed until tears came to my eyes
and I made myself two promises. First I would never embarrass him again with a poor performance and secondly I would
never let him use that line again on me.
The Apostle Paul in Chapter 12 of his Second Letter to the church at Corinth
advises us we all have God-given gifts. Many people spend years, if not an entire lifetime searching for these gifts.
Often times we think we have found them but they’re not the ones God had intended for us. I feel the Good Lord
put Dr. Ray Dahlin in my life when He did in order that I might find my gift. Ray was clearly the gift-finder and he
discovered in the deepest and darkest recesses of my being the latent gift of oratory.
His mastery and genius
of finding, sharpening, and honing my gift dramatically diverted my life’s course. While not all inclusive I thank
Ray for:
- discovering a level of self-confidence that even shocked me at times, and still does
-
being instrumental in my ability to retire as a full Navy Commander after 30 years of service
- instilling
in me the determination to always improve my skill
- enabling me to develop my current career in Divinity
Studies, teaching and preaching Gods Word
Ray you are and will always be missed. But I’m here to tell you
each time I stand up before a group, an audience or congregation I know I am and always will be your worm.
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Submitted by Lachie The Man, 8/17/05
To the Ray Dahlin family;
My sincerest condolences to the entire family for your loss.
Ray is now dancing
with King David and the Lord showing this fancy footwork.
May your days a head be filled with friends, both
old and new.
May your larder always be over flowing with food.
May your tables always be sat around
with close friends and family.
May your bodies be strong and healthy and may you dance hearts fill with the
joy your father bestowed you.
You are always in my Prayers
Mhor - Great Health
Ceud mile - 100,000 welcomes
Sir Hector Lachlan Lubanach Andrew MacLean
RoV, OCC PM
I will always pipe for your da so
he will never run out of music.
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Submitted by Jim Hawn, 7/25/05
Dear Dondi and Titanya,
I was surfing through the
web today, googling old friends to see what I could find. I was stunned to find your web site, and to read of your Dad's
passing. ray was a very important part of my life back in the early 1980s. I was on his Speech Team during the
81-82 school year. But more importantly, I was privileged to be selected and hired by him as Stage Manager for his Nutcracker
productions in 1981, 83, 84 and 85. My first introduction to Ray was in 1973, when I took one of Buddy Ashbrook's acting
classes, and assistant stage managed "Miracle Worker." The following year, Dr. Norm Gaskins hired me to be his student
assistant, running the scene shop in the old Drama Lab. I left Palomar and went over seas (I was a Marine) and when
I came back to SoCal in 1979, I was reacquainted with Ray while working for Ashbrook again, this time on Can-Can. Ray
taught me a lot. I did okay during Speech Championships in 1982, and Ray asked me to help him with Nutcracker.
Through him I met Rob Mahon and Eugenia Keefer. Ray allowed me the opportunity to grow during those years. I was
long used to leading Marines, but he allowed me the opportunity to lead others as well. His critiques of my speechifying
did me well later in life after I retired from the service and became a history professor. Along the way, I taught others
how to speak in public, how to teach, and most of what I taught them came from Ray. He was gracious, even when driving
me into the wall on the racquetball court, or leaving me panting in exhaustion on the basketball court. Where he got
all that energy I'll never know.
I remember his pride in you
both as you were growing up. He introduced us one year during a Phi Rho Pi investiture in the mid 80s, and his face
beamed whenever you two were near.
He was a class act...and
he wasn't acting. I thought the world of him. I wish you both well, and know you'll both live out his legacy of
kindness and supportiveness. He is missed.
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Submitted by Noel Smith, 4/4/05
I am indeed saddened
by the news of Ray's passing. Ray was a brother - a fraternity brother. We were both members
of the gamma lambda chapter of Tau Kappa Epsilon fraternity at San Diego State College (SDSC) as it was known at that time.
Ray was one of those people who was bigger than life. Legends
of him at college
survived for years in the fraternity. One of the more benign tales regarded the time Ray ran out of socks. As he was always known for being a sharp dresser, Ray couldn't
be seen without any socks. He found a simple and Dahlen-unique answer, he painted his ankles. From his feet to halfway to his knees he used brown paint to cover his
bare ankles. He carried
on his successful ruse until someone noticed how hairy his socks were.
His off-campus office, along with George Sunga, Bill Evans (A friend from Gary, IN) and others in the fraternity, was the Quaff Barrel affectionately known as the "QB." Ray was
instrumental in bringing the Pinkins brothers from the Chicago area. Tony Pinkins was a basketball
star
and his brother was a very fine football player.
I hope that there are others from his fraternity days that can add to the legend of Ray Dahlin.
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Submitted by Peggy Cooper, 12/28/04
To a very good
man and friend: Throughout my 20 year political career, I have organized some incredibly big events for former Deputy
Mayor George Stevens. On the nights of the event when I watched everything unfold, I would just ackwardly glimpse in
a particular area while pulling everything together and always became bright eyed when I would see this unexpected distinguished
humble man glaring my way. He would come to all of the events. It was the look of reassuring me that whatever
I did in life it was going to be OK and that yes, you can do this no matter how many people it involved----That was Ray Dahlin.
That warm smile always let me know that I could be my best and still have class while serving the public. It was just great
having a mentor in the background--That was Ray. He always told me to smile and be kind to people at all times and
I did just that. Thank you Ray. I do miss you and will always hold onto our memories as friends and
serving on the George Stevens Youth Foundation Board helping youth at risk. Thank you God for this special friend.
Thank you......
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Submitted by Ralph Aloysius
Derderian, 10/17/04
Ray was a remarkably
good actor. Need I mention that his spontaneous and irreverent sense of humour was another one of his endearing and unforgettable
characteristics?
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Submitted by Sharon Taylor, 8/28/04
When you're 18 and in the final round of Oral Interpretation for girls at Phi Rho Pi Nationals
(boys had their own category), you may be too nervous to listen or remember the names of the judges. I was. My
mind was focused on the performance. Little did I know then that one of the judges was Dr. Ray Dahlin.
After completing my graduate degree at San Diego State, Southwestern College hired me to start
an Oral Interpretation program. About six years later, I took over as the Director of Forensics. At almost every
tournament, Rays squad of talented students collected trophies in every category along with the overall sweepstakes award.
Ray, however, always remained at the back of the audience, out of sight, letting his students share the light.
He was a man whose demeanor was just as genuine with students as it was with his colleagues.
He was fair and honest and possessed a childlike smile and a great laugh that endeared him to all.
A decade after that final round in Florida, the details of my final program had slipped my somatic
memory. One Saturday morning, as I was picking up a judging ballot at a tournament in Los Angeles, a soft, low voice
from behind me said, Ya havent an arm and ya havent a leg; youre a worthless, spineless, chicken less egg. Youll have
to be put in a bowl to beg ---Ah Johnny I hardly knew ya.. I turned around to see who could be quoting these lines delivered
so many years ago. It was Ray. He said simply, I bet you didnt think I remembered that program.
I would love to tell you that I replied with a clever quip, but that would be lying. I
just stared at him while tears filled my eyes. In that one gesture, Ray Dahlin taught me more about judging and what
listening to students really meant than any rule manual ever published.
During the next 28 years, I believe his influence touched Michael, Dick, Jim, Bill, Craig, Roxanne,
Rocky, Patti, Donna, Bruce, Susan, Pat, Norm, Kat, me, and the many other teachers and students who became Forensic coaches.
Even after his initial stroke, he continued to teach us. He fought back to find his voice,
to visit with friends, to attend Palomar football games, and to spend precious time with the daughters he loved beyond language.
He demonstrated to us his full understanding of the Dylan Thomas line, Rage against the dying
of the light. Ray was one of a kind and how blessed we are that he touched our lives. I know we still had much
to learn from him. But when we are finally called, it must just be time to go home.
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Submitted by Eileen Jutkus
(now Bacan), 8/28/04
I was a classmate of Ray's at Wahington High School, and graduated with him in 1949.
I really got to know Ray in my Junior Year at the school, and he took me along with him to many
activities and made my school life a lot of fun and interesting.
I always thought that Ray would one day be President of our country. He could talk anybody into
anything, and had such a power to go ahead in whatever he did. I was surprised that he never went into politics. I always
felt that he could do anything that he set his mind to accomlish.
I like Ray. He was always good to me. He was always a comedian, too. In my Yearbook of
the Class of 1949, he wrote:
Eileen, if you ever need anything, just call me and I will run.
I will always remember Ray with making my time in school a wonderful time.
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Submitted by Jan Caswell Pastras, 8/28/04
I first met Ray when I took a speech class in 1970, and Ray convinced me to compete at Nationals,
which was my first tournament! He had faith in me, and we formed a fast friendship that lasted all of these years! I
watched his lovely daughters Tanya and Dondi grow up to be exquisite young women and shared his pride in their accomplishments.
Even though we didn't see each other that frequently (as often happens), we kept in touch by
phone and letters, and he got a kick out of the incredibly crude Get Well cards I sent during his illnesses.
So, Ray, my
dear dear friend... here are some of the many memories that I thank you for:
The National Speech Championships in Ann Arbor and St. Louis
Forming a 34 year friendship with Hazel, who I roomed with at Nationals
Introducing me to Benny Hill
Driving across country that summer to work in the Resort at Indiana Dunes
Introducing me to George Manous, Donna, Zip, Carl, Doris and your dad.
Watching your two lovely daughters grow up
Coming to BOTH of my weddings
Jai Lai in Tijuana, and getting stranded on the freeway on the way home
Dancing at the Quail's Inn
Sneaking in the hospital after hours to see you when you had your heart attack
My wonderful visit with you after your stroke
Your insistence on driving the car after your stroke and almost driving us off a cliff
Giving a eulogy at my mother's funeral
All of the practical jokes
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Submitted by Melinda Finn, 8/27/04
Ray was a dear person and I will always think fondly of him. The attached photo of
Ray and Dondi was one of the first photos I took in my new job as photographer at Palomar. It was at a fundraising concert
featuring the Coasters in August, 1992. I was asked to take this photo before I had my camera equipment ready to go
and I was nervous. I remember Ray and Dondi being so gracious and patient as I was fumbling around with my camera equipment.
The graciousness Ray displayed that evening never faltered during the years I knew him.
I took several photos of the award-winning speech team for the next several years, and helped distribute the good news in
press releases when award after award was won. Ray was always so appreciative, so organized and considerate
of my time, and so proud of his students!
To Ray's family, I very sorry for your loss. You must be very proud of how much he gave
to so many people, and how much joy he brought into the lives of those who knew him.
With love,
Melinda
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Submitted by Frank Kollintzas, 8/26/04
All of us from Indiana Harbor were very sad to hear of the passing of our very dear friend.
I was blessed to spend some quality time with Ray last August 12th, 2003. We talked about the good times he had with two of
his dearest friends George Manous and Alex Stamatakis. Words can't describe the loss not only his family is facing but
what it really means to all of us. We miss Ray very much.
Frank Kollintzas
George Manous
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Submitted by Dick Strong, 8/25/04
To Ray: I will forever miss you my dear friend. As a colleague,a mentor and friend,
you were always there whenever needed. Your life served as inspiration to thousands. Your life mattered in all
the right ways.
To the Friends and Family of Ray: Know that all of our lives were enriched by this wonderful
man. What he taught lives forever in our souls. His life inspires us all to be constantly and consistently better.
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Submitted by Cody DeCamp, 8/25/04
When I entered Palomar in the fall of 1982 I was shy and introverted. Being on the Speech Team
was about as likely as flying to the moon. One of my first classes was Ray's speech class. He encouraged me to join the speech
team.
Ray's lessons helped me become much more confident. I have utilized the skills that I learned from my speech
experience everyday of my life. I truly believe the lessons I learned have helped me become what I am today.
Ray also
played a mean game of racketball. Despite having the obvious age advantage, he schooled me regularly.
To the family,
my deepest condolences. Ray will be missed greatly.
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Submitted by Kimberly (Bayan)
Berlat, 8/24/04
Ray Dahlin is a one of a kind magic. No one I have ever met has had his flair, style, and knowledge.
My time at Palomar was short, but he made an impact.
Not a day goes by where Ray's influence doesn't come out
in my coaching or life in general. How many times have I said "If you just listen to what I'm telling you, you're going
to start winning whether you like it or not!" to a student? How many times have you Forenzoids wanted to award some "Boob
McNutt Points" to someone? No matter how little he touched your life, Ray left his mark - and usually it was a crater
the size of Arizona.
I just found out about his passing today. My heart truly aches. It aches for Ray's
family and friends because of this tremendous loss. But most of all it aches because the world has lost one of the greatest
treasures it has ever known.
Thank you for letting us into your life Prof. Dahlin. I know I'm a better person
for it in the end.
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Submitted by Cheryl (Pilcher)
Ledwidge, 8/18/04
There is not
a word that could easily describe the impact that Ray Dahlin has had on my life. He changed my life forever and I forever
thankful that he took a chance on me. He got me into speech because he knew my father. He kept me in speech because
he changed my life. Because of Ray I have a love for poetry, prose, and so many other things. I think my experience
at Palomar Speech was the best of my entire life. I love riding to tournaments with him. I may not have won many
awards but I was a huge winner because before Ray and Speech I was so painfully shy my biggest goal in life was to blend.
Now, I am happily married, an executive assistant, and working on a human rights campaign. Oh yea, and I am not
shy anymore.
Life takes us
on many roads. I am glad that I got a chance to cross mine with his. My favorite Ray Dahlin
memory, any one who competed under him will know, it has to be "Don't read the ballots" The man would have gone horse from
yelling at us about it.
I am devastated and saddened by this loss. I feel like I have lost my father all over again. Ray Dahlin was 1 in a
million and will be remembered forever.
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Submitted by Ralph Derderian, 8/16/04
Not only did Ray treat me like his good friend but, also, as a member of his family. Of course,
we all miss him but he's forever unforgettable.
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Submitted by Dave Dhillon and
Cyrena, 8/12/04
Ray's charm and his integrity in supporting the arts were an inspiration to those of us who
performed whenever he was present. We will always hold his memory dear in our hearts and in great esteem.
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Submitted by Michael Leigh, 8/12/04
I feel so lucky to have known Ray. He was a friend, as well as a key mentor and a foil
for my professional growth. Always a sense of humor. Always a kind word. I never met the man when he wasn't
smiling, though I saw the pain beneath the smile near the end. And the courage. Can you imagine what it must
have been like for a man who was a master craftsman of the language to find himself searching for words? Still, he
found them.
I'm so glad that my wife Diane and I, saw Ray twice in the last year, as well as his lovely and
talented daughters who took such good care of him. The last time was at this year's Phi Ro Pi National Championship.
We sat at a table together with other favorite coaches of ours from over the years, and listened to the honor associated
with his name. He was happy, I believe, and the award given in his name will always be valued. Then, the next
day, we didn't see him. In my heart, I knew somehow that it was last time we'd have the privilege of his wonderful companionship,
warmth and quick, quick mind. We loved you, Ray, and we'll continue to do so. -Michael & Diane
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Submitted by Bill Tosheff, 8/6/04
Ah "Da Region"...the mecca of activity all centered within the walls of the most notorius hang
out for celebrities such as John Dillinger, etc. So then I get a phone call, "Tosh, this is Ray, meet me at the Greek
Taverna, downtown San Diego at 6:30pm, Dondi is dancing there." So I go, and just as I suspected Ray, is there, with a female,
ahem...and an older "cat" with a camera, and I get dragged onto the floor with Dondi, who's doing her "schtick", with me tryng
to follow her lead to the music. Red headband, shash, and looking totally stupid, I play his and Dondi's game. Result, after
the session, a guy comes up to me and stuffs a dollar in my belt. Of course Ray's Stephen Spielberg, type, is shooting pictures
of this ex-NBA STAR(in my own mind), which I'm sure is going to be printed in all the local "Da Region", rags speaheaded by
that other crime and athletic supporter, Arch McKinlay, of Chicago. Observation: Ray Dahlin, has always been QUIETLY LETHAL"..Ray,
as they say in Maceadonian,"Ket-te-=vee-dem utre e utre e utre", meaning, " I will see you tomorrow & tomorrow and tomorrow"....Tosh
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Submitted by Craig and
Sheila Grossman, 8/6/04
Ray was the best. A friend for over thirty years. He was my mentor and taught me
so much about coaching, directing tournaments and about being a father. I would never imagine running a speech tournament
without Ray at my side. So many fun times traveling throughout the nation and Tijuana!!! Ray was always gracious, a
gentleman and could make you laugh for hours. Ray gave Sheila her first job in teaching. We will miss him alot.
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Submitted by Tommy Joe, 8/4/04
In
1986 I was a commercial real estate broker specializing in apartment house sales. Thats when I met Ray after a number
of telephone calls. I'd call the Dahlin house in Poway and usually get Ray's father. He'd say that his college professor
son who was always traveling, working long hours and pretty much impossible to get on the telephone was the one handling the
apartments. In retrospect maybe that was really Ray just disguising his voice!
Ray and I finally met. We did some business
together that worked out well. And of course, we became friends. I knew Ray Dahlin for 18 years. And for probably
the last 17 of those years he made me feel like I was one of his closest friends. That puts me in the category with
about 60 or 70 other people I gather. What a special man Ray was!
As an educator, a coach, a mentor, a friend, he added
to so many peoples lives in so many ways. I heard about the long weekends with the speech team. I knew about the dedication
to his students. I observed first hand on a number of occasions the generosity that flowed out of him so easily and
humbly. Have you ever bought a meal that you shared with Ray Dahlin? I think I did once... and it was a cheesy
breakfast at a greasy spoon restaurant. And probably the only reason Ray let me buy was so he could rib me about it for the
next 10 years. Which of course he did!
As many wonderful things as Ray did as a human being with a heartbeat, he is
an even greater spirit. His spirit is what I feel. It's what I had felt before without really being aware of it.
The goodness that was Ray Dahlin was much more than what man could manifest in the flesh. His spirit is what made him special.
It's what keeps him special. And it what keeps him in my life. I know I'll be feeling Ray for a long time. Its a good
feeling.
Tommy Joe
(Dog-Face Boy)
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Submitted by Haval Ravin, 8/3/04
A
loss indeed. I had the pleasure and joy of knowing Ray for a couple of years. I would see him every now and then. He was consistently
energetic, happy, and loving. I was touched by how close he was, and still is, to his family. The respect and happiness that
I felt toward him was always met with the like toward me. He was so proud Of Dondi and Tanya, so close to them, and they brought
him much happiness. This was the best gift they could possibly give him, therefore he left them with that gift which he will
forever keep. He is a lucky man. God Bless your soul and give strength and comfort to your two Daughters.
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Submitted by Patty Dixon, 8/3/04
I
was a "baby" when I came to Palomar and two great men helped me find my place-Frank Martini and Ray Dahlin. Ray and
I had offices next to each other and I popped in and out of his office for advise, borrow paper, use his zerox machine, cry
when my first student dropped out of my class etc. He always made time for me. I knew I had 'arrived" when he
recommended that one of his daughters take my American History class. The world may miss his physical presence but his
essence will not be missed because far too many people have been greatly impacted by him. He was and is a blessing.
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Submitted by Molly Nichelson, 8/2/04
I was truly saddened to hear of Professor Dahlin’s recent passing over
this weekend. I was a student of his as well as a member of the Palomar Speech team from 1996-1998. I truly enjoyed
getting to know him during this brief period of time and will always treasure the Barry Goldwater pin that he gave me.
The public speaking skills that your father taught me have truly helped me in my professional and personal life and I am forever
indebted to him.
My heart and prayers go out to you and your family. May God’s peace be upon
your hearts, your minds and your spirits during this time.
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Submitted by Bridget Brigitte, 8/1/04
My condolances to the whole family whose general warmth & glow is certainly
a reflection of the individual members. His spirit lives on and the world is a better place for his having been here. Thanks
Ray, even if I know your daughters better than I knew you.
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Submitted by Eugenia Keefer, 7/31/04
Dear Family of Ray:
I am so deeply saddened to hear of Ray's passing. Ray was a great friend to me
and I will treasure his memory all my life. The beginning of my friendship with Ray actually began through a mutual
friend, Robert Mahon. Robert was an old San Diego State school chum of Ray's. He introduced me to Ray and Ray helped
me establish myself as an instructor at Palomar Community College in 1978. His help and advice was everything. Just
a few weeks ago, Ray proved again to be a generous, loyal friend by helping me out with a letter of recommendation.
He wrote the letter and delivered it to my home in person. What a wonderful example of a good and giving person! Thank
you, Ray!
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Submitted by Debbie Gemmill, 7/31/04
I was a 30-something mom returning to college and simply HAD to take that speech class
to graduate. I was terrified, not only of public speaking, but I was reeling from the recent death of my baby from SIDS. Ray
not only convinced me I could present a speech, but he also coached me so that I could go on to speak to others about SIDS.
My son would be 22 now. I've published 3 books and have spoken in many places. I am certain it would have never happened if
Dr. D hadn't looked me in the eye that day and said "Debbie, you have something to say. Let me help you say it."
He sent
me cards on Mother's Day and Valentines Day, and I will miss him so.
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Submitted by Wayne Armstrong, 7/30/04
During my career at Palomar College I had many discussions with
Ray, including
the lovely island of Tahiti and a wonderful restaurant on University Avenue called Jimmy Wong's Golden Dragon. From
all the photos on the lobby walls, apparently numerous celebrities also liked this restaurant. One evening
I mentioned to Jimmy that I was a friend of Ray Dahlin. Suddenly Jimmy's eyes grew large and he exclaimed:
"You know Ray!" "You know Ray Dahlin!" To my astonishment, I was immediately ushered by Jimmy Wong
to the best table in the house and given the treatment of a celebrity. Apparently Jimmy and Ray were good college
friends and belonged to the same fraternity. I have never in my life received such a royal treatment
by a restaurant owner. Ray was one of the truly dedicated teachers at Palomar College. During his career he
touched the lives of countless students and colleagues. It is teachers like Ray that gave Palomar
College its great reputation. We will all miss him very much. -Wayne Armstrong, Life Sciences Department
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Submitted by Jeffery Pollock, 7/29/04
Ray was a kind and generous soul. He knew everyone too. He
had friends in clubs, music, entertainment, restaurants.... you name it. He loved getting all dressed up. He was
a classic, like no other. He loved to entertain you. We had dinners out and for all occasions: birthdays, holidays,
to see an entertainer friend....etc. He was quite the character. We had outrageous Easter egg hunts
at the Poway home, watched fireworks from an unparalled vantage point on his patio, sat in the hot tub under the stars....and
told stories....always stories!!!!! Though I hadn't seen Ray since I left San Diego at the end of 2000, I asked about
him often, as did my parents (in L.A.), via Dondi, Jeffry & Titanya. He was a good man, smart, educated, funny,
witty, practical jokester, husband, father, friend and professor. His presence is said to still linger around his house,
happily. Ray, you'll be missed, but not forgotten, and celebrated for your life on the 29th. - Love
ya, Jeffery Pollock
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Submitted by Dondi Simone Dahlin 7/29/04
It has been 13 days and the absence of Dad is still too overwhelming to try and comprehend.
Our family exists moment to moment. But, as I read the comments on this site I weep with the realization of how Dad
touched people’s lives. I knew this before he went away and it is even stronger now. He was my life. I can
feel him giving me comfort and warmth to live a new life where his physical body may not be here but his heart, soul
and spirit is. I feel it every moment. Thank you to everyone who is sending their memories. To hear and
know these memories are like having Dad wrap a warm blanket around me at this very strange and painful time. Thank you
so much. Dondi Simone
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Submitted by Jeff Richards 7/29/04
The
Web Develolper of This Site
I have known Ray for about
nine years and in a lot of ways, he became quite a father figure to me, especially while Tanya and I lived with him these
past nine months. Somewhere I had read that when most people die, they have fewer
than five good friends. Ray had hundreds of people all across the nation that
called him their best friend. The website is a way of honoring his memory and
continuing to share his life with those that he cared about. Ray will never be forgotten and will always be present
in our lives.
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Submitted by Mona Smith 7/29/04
I happened to be a speech 100 student of Ray’s in 1999 before he retired. When he became ill in the middle
of the semester we really didn’t know what to expect. What we did realize that even for the short amount of time
that he was our instructor, we benefited greatly from it. He got us involved in judging the speech competition that
Palomar was hosting and made the “required” course fun and interesting to us. I have always had found memories
of my experience in his class and always will. He will be missed.
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Submitted by Gary Zacharias 7/29/04
I have always appreciated Ray for the way he treated me when I started teaching at Palomar. It would
have been easy for him to ignore the new guy, but he never did. He made me feel like he was a lifetime friend. That's a great
talent. Thanks, Ray.
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Submitted by Ken Lynch 7/28/04
A gentle, caring
man whose life touched us all in a positive manner. His change of venue leaves a huge void in all our lives. Let's make August
29th a true Ray Dahlin Celebration of Life!!!
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Submitted by Jack Lardis - Beacon
Falls, CT, 7/22/04
Ray Dahlin
I am thankful
for the East Chicago Washington High School Alumni Association which has diligently organized the many reunions under the
leadership of Frank Hanak and Archibald McLeash.. The reunions made it possible for me to locate Ray Dahlin in Poway, California,
after 50-some years by providing a directory of the WHS alumni.
I sent Ray a letter and then we talked by phone for
a very long time catching up on our spent lives. He was still the whimsical, laughing extrovert who knew everyone and sustained
friendships in both “Da Harbor” in Northern Indiana and Poway, California, two totally diverse meccas on this
planet. I did not know much about his life in California until I visited him in March of 2003.
The previous Christmas
he sent me a card with a short note saying, “when are you going to come see me before I croak”. That was
Ray -- being satirical and playful all in one. I made plans to go to California and when he met me at the airport I tried
to imagine what he would look like or if I would recognize him. I had sent him a photo to help him recognize me at the
airport. As I turned the corner in the upper level of the terminal there he was, standing in the hall, looking at me
as if he dared me NOT to recognize him. As soon as he smiled I knew. It was the beginning of a great reunion after
54 years.
We spent the days reminiscing about our mutual adventures in high school, our school chums and the crazy
or silly things we did. We exchanged a half century of life stories about our college days -- he at San Diego State
and me at Ohio State and the University of Michigan -- growing up into adults, successes and failures, trials and tribulations
and the joys of marriage, family and our children. There was never a dull moment or a loss for words throughout the
visit. We had a lot of life to cover.
Ray never complained about his reduced energy level as he took me
to the San Diego Museum of Art at Balboa Park, the wonderful San Diego Zoo where we walked for miles, and a day at La
Jolla where I could visit endless art galleries in search of an exhibition for my artwork. Eating was a movable feast
as each meal was a unique experience and we gained a few pounds from these adventures.
The highlight of my visit was
going to Frankie Laine’s 90th birthday party at the historic U. S. Grant Hotel where we sat by the stage next to Frankie’s
table with his wife and notable performers whose names I cannot recall (a senior moment). Ray knew everybody and had
garnered two great seats through his friend, the promotions director. Later he sent me a CD with Laine’s private
collection of songs. A most memorable week.
In that passing half century Ray had become a man of many talents,
wrote a personal history as he garnered a plethora of trophies for his various speech departments with the help of his two
talented daughters, Dondi and Titanya. His two lovely offsprings became world renowned belly dancers and were the core
of his pride. They were a tight-knit family and his stories about his travels to the exotic South Sea Islands with his
young family were like fairy tales come true.
Ray had a full, rich, fun and happy life. He was talented, smart,
funny, playful, loving, charming, handsome and witty. You can’t ask for much more than that, now can you? My only
regret was that I lost so much time before I rediscovered him and his family. I’ll miss him as everyone will who
was close to him. Ray was one of a kind and he enriched my life with his friendship.
Jack Lardis
Beacon Falls,
CT
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